Friday, November 13, 2015

Desert Hearts Full of Infinite Love (Feels So Good To Me)

I woke up this morning from a night of haunting dreams, feeling lost and empty, frightened by my instability and weakness.

Rather than live in fear of these emotions as I have in the past, I put my hands over my head and lay back in meditation and introspection. I got out of bed and found just the right person to talk to, and have been pouring out tears of all types ever since.

Desert Hearts​ taught me more than I could imagine this weekend, but the real learning starts here and now. It is easy to open yourself up to your true self when you're surrounded by such a community of love and acceptance but the true test is to translate that into the reality of modern society around us.

I brought several journals with me that I shared with the community around me to allow them to share with me, and thus to us. One of my favorite entries was spoken by a new brother, Ishmael​, and beautifully transcribed by our friend Sade while we chilled in Volunteer HQ during the rain of Tuesday morning. The topic was finding true love, and the 5 things that were simultaneously necessary in order for it to work. Over and over again this summer I have struggled with one thing in my life...timing.

Through my separate conversation I realized how I have constantly felt under-prepared for EVERYTHING since a major life disruption occurred in mid-July, yet I have not once taken the step back to adjust for this, instead trying to overcompensate by hustling my fucking ass off. The hustle was real but never truly successful. I kept my head above water but was never truly afloat.

For perhaps the first time in my life I am stepping back and calling a timeout. I am postponing the show we had planned for November 28th not because I don't want to or the idea isn't great or because it isn't going to succeed, but because I am aware that the timing isn't right.

While this entry was intended to describe the qualities necessary in finding true love, I have found that moreover it describes the qualities necessary in finding true success for my newfound company. The reason for this turns out to be quite simple. While we currently appear to be another company throwing parties in LA and the surrounding area, our true purpose is to spread love and community. Through the moments we share through music, dancing, laughter, delirium...together we build a better community, one that is CONNECTED, soul to soul, peer to peer, to share our love and understanding, compassion for one another.

Together we release the shackles of a subjugated past, and break into this newfound future of enlightenment.

Together we RISE.

Love is infinite, and it feels so good to me ;)